Friday, November 18, 2011

Miss you Dad, One Year Later & Always

Today marks one year since I lost Dad. Words can't express how much I miss him and I've been surprised how hard this week has been reliving that time.

In the year since, I've cleaned out and sold our childhood home, left my dear New York City, switched jobs and moved in with my boyfriend. My life has changed in so many ways but still the biggest change has been the loss of the man my heart revolved around, the one person who made me feel like I could do no wrong.

By popular demand, I'm posting the eulogy I gave last year. But I also wanted to post a poem Dad had written. Dad wore so many hats: explorer, Marine, educator, loving father, loving husband to my mother, painter, poet, etc. I think this poem gives extra comfort at times like this. And I'm amazed how much more I understand it now than I could last year.

I also want to thank everyone who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to help me through it all, especially those that supported us that week and later those that helped clean out the house. I will never forget what you did and I will appreciate it always.


MY EULOGY:
Hi, I'm Deana, Dad's youngest daughter. Dad's reputation proceeds him and you all have already heard about his amazing accomplishments and thoughtful deeds.

The support we've gotten has been unbelievable and I want to thank you for your support and sharing your amazing stories. Clearly, we have all suffered a great loss. But as I've told so many of you, I can't complain. Dad was ready and I'm so happy for him to finally be at peace, no suffering, and to embark on his greatest adventure yet with Mom and all his other loved ones that passed before him. Dad lived more in his lifetime then many of us could live in 10 lifetimes and the impression he has left on us will never die. He made the most out of it, never just blending in with the pack but doing what he wanted and what he believed in.

Something that many of you know about Dad is that he liked music and singing. In fact, just two weeks ago when he was first taken into the hospital, the nurses told me that he would sing to them in ICU. A few years ago, I moved to Hoboken, NJ, where one of Dad's favorite singers grew up, Frank Sinatra. There is a song by Sinatra that I find particularly fitting and I'd like to read some of the lyrics to that song to you now.

"And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
'Oh no, oh no, not me, I did it my way'

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The records shows I took the blows and did it my way!

Yes, it was my way."

Thank you Dad for everything you did for me, for inspiring me and so many others. You are my hero and I will always miss you and remember your contagious smile, good nature, humor and love.

Te Amo.


DAD'S POEM:

Rejoice with me,
            I am at home.
            This year I felt the nearness…
            The fading strength
            that measures life in
            small but meaningful day tasks.

The over-stresed, and yesterday the guess
            of who I am,
            of what I am,
            of what I was in other’s eyes
            and memories of just a day ago.

And now I say, my God and I are one.
He gave me strength
            In many yearly goals
            In countless tasks that I could do
            In talking, acting, dreaming of
                A thousand unkown doors
He opened all.

He is myself, at last.

Rejoice with me, I am at home.

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