"Stop Jaywalking B****!"

Tonight, we went out in Uptown to watch the Rangers in the World Series. Sadly, they lost but we had fun and it was a great thing to do with our friend who was visiting for the weekend from Austin.

A guy approached us we were walking up the street to switch bars to watch the remainder of the game. He looked both homeless and high/drunk on something and harassed us for money. I ignored him and as we come to a corner, I notice that even though the lights weren't in my favor, there were no cars coming. I decided to cross the street to escape the harassment, instead of waiting for the lights to change. This guy proceeds to start yelling at me "Stop jaywalking b...****! How dare you jaywalk, that's messed up b****" etc.... really?! Jaywalking is where you draw the line? Public disturbance/harrassment/and whatever illegal substance you're on is okay but jaywalking is over your line of decency? My boyfriend M started yelling back, defending my honor and next thing you know, a police car pulled up and arrested the guy. Soon, several other cops biked over for backup.

Looking back on this incident, probably the funniest part was that when the cops came, I was a bit worried that they were going to arrest me for jaywalking...

We enjoyed the rest of the weekend, including attending a Halloween party.

Old time barkeep & Devil Wears Prada

Therapy

So Texas has officially put me in therapy.

Dallas is a wonderful city, but I feel a lot of pressure here. I miss NYC so much, especially all my loved ones there and the closer proximity to my friends in Pittsburgh. If that's where I want to end up, should I be here now? There are so many questions about where I want my life to go that I simply don't know the answers to yet. I feel an urgency to figure these things out as soon as possible, or risk regretting going down the wrong path. (One of my biggest fears in life is regret.) This feeling that I need to figure out the answers to these big questions puts a lot of pressure on myself and gives me a great deal of anxiety. Ironically, I'm the one causing myself this stress because I'm the one giving myself this "asap" deadline.

They say that well-educated women over think things... Does this mean I can blame my university for the stress I've had lately? Doubtful, but regardless of who is to blame, I have been feeling a great deal of stress lately so I decided it was time to see a therapist. In my lifetime, I have visited therapists a few times and hadn't had much success. I'm hoping this one will be different and help me figure out my life and take pressure off of myself to relieve the anxiety.

My first session was today and it went well, I think I will return. The one thought she left me with was something that I felt was especially helpful to hear, "Take in the good." She wanted me to really take in the good around me in the moment and appreciate all the wonderful things in my life right now. She's right, I am very lucky.

• Lucky to have an amazing, caring boyfriend who wants me near.
• Lucky to have wonderful friends and family who miss me as much as I miss them.
• Lucky to have a well-paying job in a good working environment where I am empowered, trusted and get to do something that I enjoy while learning a great deal.
• Lucky to have the health to do the things I want to do.

The list goes on and on...

DFW > PIT > TPA > DFW

Bouncing from Pittsburgh to Florida and back to Texas was quite a whirlwind over this long weekend but well worth it! I know what you're thinking: Pittsburgh's not on the way to Florida! But I had a very good reason. K, who I had been close to since I was 4, had recently gotten engaged. Shortly after receiving her rock, she bestowed me the honor of being her maid of honor. I was so excited! Well, this past weekend was a big get together of the bridesmaids with K, and I was going to miss it because I had to go to Florida to help clean out my grandparents' condo since it had been sold. Little did K know, but I had planned a secret stoppover in Pittsburgh on the way!

Late Friday, I flew to Pittsburgh where my best male friend, B, picked me up. I stayed up with him and his girlfriend talking into the late hours. In the morning, the three of us went to brunch. There was a wait for a table so I sat down in the waiting area, my back to the door. B stood facing me. Before I knew it, B yelled "D, K's parents are walking in!" I didn't believe him at first but once his expression made it clear he was serious, I ran to the bathroom to hide. Luckily, they were turned off by the waiting list and ended up turning around and going somewhere else. What a close call!


After brunch, I met with another close friend of mine, C. We hung out and laughed until our faces hurt.

Before I knew it, it was time for the surprise! Another bridesmaid drove me to K's. I waited on the porch for her to tell K that there was a surprise outside. I could hear K scream through the door, "Is Deana out there?!?!!" before the bridesmaid even had the chance to egg her on. I came right in and we were all just so excited! It seemed K wasn't as surprised as I had guessed she would be but I was even happier because of her reason why, "I knew deep down that there was a chance you would do this. You're just that kind of person." I have the best friends. We all had a good laugh at how the surprise was almost ruined at breakfast earlier and had a wonderful day with the bridesmaids, bride and mothers of the bride and groom. We even ended up turning the dress shopping on K and she ended up picking out her gown that she later bought. The night ended with BYOB bowling to celebrate some of the girls' birthdays.

That day was seriously the best day I had had in months. Being around people that mean that much to me and laughing and just feeling that warmth, it's something that just can't be duplicated. It even made me think, and I never thought I'd think this or admit it, that I'd rather move back to Pittsburgh than stay where I currently live.

My boyfriend M met me in Florida Sunday morning and we had a productive visit, although sadly not as productive as we had hoped since both my aunt and M needed taken to urgent care units for various ailments. Luckily, both recovered quickly and we still got to spend some time visiting Grandma and reminiscing about times gone by through old pictures we discovered in the condo.

We returned to Texas Tuesday night.

What an amazing weekend.

Surprise! I made it! :-)

Grandma & I

In 2009, the last happy visit (before Grandpa was taken to the hospital) that I had with my grandparents,
Grandpa had me take some photos of them.
When Mark and I visited the condo one last time to help clean it out, I couldn't help but sort of recreate that picture with him.
I wish these two important men in my life could have met.

The Texas State Fair

This weekend we went to the Texas State Fair. It was huge! So many rides and exhibits, definitely the biggest fair I had ever seen! We noticed three things:
1. It was actually quite expensive.
2. There were a ton of people wearing Steelers gear. (I'd argue more than we saw wearing Cowboys gear!)
3. All the food is either fried, served on a stick, or both!

We tried a bunch of neat food but I don't think we'll return again next year. (Even though we later discovered we had neglected to discover some of the cooler parts of the fair.)

Top: fried mashed potatoes
Bottom: fried cake balls!!

"How did you escape New York without becoming a New Yorker?"

A coworker today asked me out of nowhere, "What I want to know is, how did you escape New York without becoming a New Yorker?" She had lived in New York City years prior and she meant it as a compliment because the city she knew was harsh and mean. But it felt like an insult since I identify myself as a New Yorker.

And so I reflected, how had I become a New Yorker, what had changed within me from when I identified myself as a Pittsburgher? There were two major things that I had noticed so far from my stay in Texas.

1. Clothing. Okay, maybe this is not only from living in New York, but also from working in the fashion/retail industry. When I first started at macys.com, I remember coming to work in an outfit I was proud of, or in the very least didn't know there was anything wrong with. At work, I quickly learned that my outfit had a name, and that "texas tuxedos" were not in style. I then started to pay attention and learned that style was something that helped you advance. Trends were easy to spot on the streets of the Fashion District and while I rarely bought trendy things, I knew what to avoid.

At one of my first weeks at my new job here, I spotted a woman wearing a "texas tuxedo" and I cringed. And then I realized, I had done the same thing 6 years prior in NYC... And then I saw her still wear it again the next day... Yep, I'm not in The City anymore!

2. Crossing the street. So if there are no cars going, I don't care if the lights aren't in my favor, I'm crossing the street. I'm not sure if it's the urgency of the rush of The City that instilled this in me, but waiting for a light is ingrained as a waste of time.

Here, however, people very clearly look at me like I have 3 heads if I cross before the light switches. Even if there are no cars in sight. Occasionally, I witness others see me make the move and noticeably contemplate crossing themselves. An odd expression comes over their face like they had never thought of that as an option and they slowly extend their foot out as if testing the waters of a pool. There is no shark in there people, just cross!

3. Transportation. As in Pittsburgh, people here drive everywhere. The idea of walking or *gasp* taking public transportation seems like a foreign concept. And I don't even own a car. When I tell people this, they are not only surprised, but curious about how that's possible. I was even once asked, "Wow, what kind of people ride the bus?" Um, people like me...

Overall, I think that New York has changed me in some ways. But I am very proud to say that who I am deep down has never been swayed by where I am geographically. And that's a really important thing to realize and remember.

Here We Go... To Houston!

Growing up in Pittsburgh, I have always bled black and gold so I was very happy to receive my birthday gift from Mark of tickets for us to watch the Steelers when they came to Texas this year. We headed to Houston on Saturday and I posted to my Facebook wall that we were making the journey. Low and behold, turned out that one of my brother's best friends lived in Houston. He had grown up right up the street from us and we made last minute plans to hang out with him and his fiance. Mark and I enjoyed an amazing seasonal dinner at a fabulous restaurant we had made reservations at called "Mark's". (How could we not eat there with a name like that?) We then met up with the friends at Ginger Man.

The next day, after a quick breakfast, we headed straight to the stadium. So many Steelers fans were there!! Steelers Nation was definitely loud and proud that day. On the way in to the stadium, we heard a voice in the distance yelling "Mark, Mark!" We turned around to see one of the people we had met at the Steelers bar on my birthday! We hung out with him and his girlfriend for a bit, along with the group they had come with, and then headed into the stadium. It was pink ribbon day, and as a woman who lost her mother to breast cancer, I was especially touched by this. We had a wonderful time, even though unfortunately we lost.

On the drive back to Dallas, we stopped at Peach Farm store. We got all sorts of neat "butters" and baked goods, even some pecan syrup!

We had a nice, quick trip but I am looking forward to having next weekend at home so we can continue to work on fixing up the apartment!